Listen.
Right now, sit still (maybe close your eyes) and listen to what is going on around you.
What do you hear? Is it urban traffic? Birds? Is someone mowing a lawn?
After a few minutes, shift your attention to yourself. Sense your feet, your legs, your torso, your neck—what sensations are surfacing? Aches and pains? Perhaps you can feel your stomach rumbling. Some of you might have a deep feeling of relaxation, just enjoying the relative silence, and some of you might sense an anxious feeling that you had not been aware of before.
Notice these sensations, then consider if any action might be needed. Should you get up and move around to alleviate stiffness? Would a few deep breaths help your anxiety fade? Is there something in your life that you need to examine more closely?
It’s astonishing how out of touch we can be with our bodies. We don’t hear what’s happening around us and we don’t “hear” what’s happening within us. It’s not surprising, given how “plugged in” most of us are all the time. I rarely see anyone walking along without earbuds or enjoying coffee in a café without peering at their phone. One of my friends always has the TV on during our phone calls, and it can make focus difficult.
I don’t believe that this constant need for stimulus is a good thing. A consequence is that we are distracted from important functions, and this includes recognizing what we truly want and need.
I see this frequently with the clients I serve who want to change their working lives. They want new jobs, perhaps in different industries, so they can feel happier and more at peace. Many of them want to course-correct their earlier life decisions. But they realize that this work requires more than simply matching demonstrated to required skills for open roles. Effective shifts require more than repeating the past in a different context. Effective, lasting change comes from the ability to know yourself.
The work we do centers on listening. We begin by acknowledging the satisfying and miserable times they have spent at work. We then compare these experiences to their natural gifts and the values most important to them. We also do some deeper inner reflection involving their feelings about their choices and chosen activities.
The goal is to leverage that inner detection system that can help them tap their deepest selves and direct their decisions, so they can move past the persistent thoughts about what they “should do” and toward what they internally are telling themselves they prefer to do.
It’s challenging. Most of us live, as meditation teacher Reginald Ray describes, “from the neck up.” We live primarily in our thoughts, and this ignorance of the signals from our physical selves is a cause of physical and emotional discomfort, a sense of alienation, and a lack of fulfillment.
But you can change this. Here is how:
First, just sit.
Try this when you are pondering a job change. Sit quietly and imagine yourself in the situation you are considering. Reflect on your recent interactions in discussions or interviews for the job. Your reactions can be signals that options are “right” or “wrong” for you.
For instance, if you are reflecting on an interview, you may experience a swelling of anticipation that signals your excitement about the job. Or you may feel dread. You may feel an internal tightening that signals something is “off” about this opportunity. You might have a stomachache the night before a second interview, or when considering the offer just made to you.
These sensations tell you what you need to know: To pursue the opportunity, or not.
The other way in which the body can direct you is its persistent signaling of a problem you have been ignoring. I’ve had my share of these signals. One of them happened a few months ago when I rolled over in bed and my world turned upside down. I had vertigo.
Vertigo, when the environment around you moves even if you are not moving, is primarily an inner-ear dysfunction. It happens when the crystals within our ear canals, which help us maintain our balance, shift. There are head manipulations that can help move them back into place, and I visited my doctor and a physical therapist for assistance. But with this episode, something else happened.
As I slowly raised myself one morning and swung my legs over the edge of my bed, carefully, trying not to trigger the spinning feelings, I began to think about all the things I was derailed from accomplishing and all the things I was worrying about. I had the passing thought that I was living in a vortex.
And then I thought: Was this some sort of lesson that my body was teaching me? Was this a signal or a warning?
My response was to take some time off.
I increased the amount of rest I was getting to allow my body to heal. I contacted my clients to let them know the situation, then slowly returned to my desk to finish promised work, but on a temporarily slimmer schedule. I gave myself permission to relax and release the tension that had built up over the previous months.
It was not easy. I am, like many of us, taught to achieve goals in a particular way at a particular cadence, and it’s hard to shake that expectation. I talked through the situation with my business coach, who encouraged me to heed my body’s message. Gradually, the vertigo subsided.
I’m encouraging you to listen, too. Reconnect with your whole self, starting with your physical being. Take time each day to “check in” with yourself and notice what you are feeling. These sensations can provide useful information. When you are in the throes of a major decision, notice what’s happening in your body. And when you have a persistent physical issue, such as stomach problems, muscle spasms, or vertigo, consider what’s going on in your life, and then make adjustments.
You are capable of so much! And you hold the answers to your greatest questions within you.
I can help you get started on the work of listening to yourself! Let’s set up a time to chat. Email me at Ruth@confidentcareersearch.com.
