• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Ruth Sternberg | Confident Career Search

Ruth Sternberg, Confident Career Search

Specializing in interview-attracting resumes and LinkedIn profiles. Talk to a career search professional at 614-746-4587!

585-201-8271 Let's Talk
  • Home
  • Meet Ruth
  • Services
    • Resume and LinkedIn Profile Revamp
    • Full VIP Package
    • New College Graduates
    • Value-Added Services
    • “Pick My Brain” Resume and Strategy Session
  • FAQs
  • Testimonials
  • Blog
    • Job Search
    • Get an Interview
    • Job Requirements
    • Identifying Transferable Skills
      • New College Graduates
    • How to Answer: “Tell Me About Yourself?”
    • how do I answer interview questions?
    • Skills
  • Contact

Moving Past Anxiety-Producing Career Memories

Filed Under: Uncategorized

The past.

It haunts some of us.

Things we did in our youth. Things people said to us. Stuff we shouldn’t have said but can’t take back.

I’ll admit that some nights I can’t shut off the video loop in my head.

Buddhists preach that living in the present is the best way to live meaningfully and without anxiety. Because after all, the past is dead, and the future is pure speculation.

Since we entered the COVID-19 pandemic almost three years ago, there has been a growing emphasis on living in the moment. Millions of people stuck in their homes for months have been trying escape from the insides of their heads and move forward.

Psychologists have become the front line in dealing with this.

As a profession, the field has become front-and-center in ways that are unprecedented. This year, the American Psychological Association shared that research parameters are becoming more inclusive and extending into new areas, such as the effects of gratitude and the role of parenting in addressing social issues.

Psychologists are getting involved in the workplace, too, tackling leadership issues, such as managing conflict and addressing worker well-being.

One trend is the study of anxiety’s impacts on intelligence. Researchers are studying ways to help people transcend their feelings about negative past events.  

Some of this stuff comes up when you’re in a job transition.

I have had many conversations with clients about past employment experiences. As they explain why they are looking for a new job, many people will recite the circumstances of their mistreatment in the workplace, or the feelings of defeat they experienced upon realizing that a job was a bad fit.

I want to reassure them: We don’t have to talk about that. But I can’t, entirely.

It is because reviewing the past is necessary to make your case as the ideal candidate for your next role. As you determine how to talk to an employer about why you’re the best fit for the job, you necessarily have to think back about the different roles you’ve held and what you accomplished in each one.

It brings up a lot of painful stuff.

This is because one of the pathways to unearthing past accomplishments is to remember the challenges that led you there. Those challenges include coping with mismanaged processes, collaborating under the watchful eye of a micromanaging supervisor, negotiating with intractable teammates, and watching others take credit for your ideas.

Ugh.

Coupled with the urgency to keep paying your bills, it’s no wonder that a job search becomes a form of mental torture. It’s not surprising that so many of us start to melt down and shut down when we approach a job search.

As a career coach, I have come up with a few tips that might help you think about your career history with a little less anxiety and move past the emotional blocks to find the work you are meant to do.

1. Take a break from the situation. This can mean taking some time off between jobs before starting a search, or stepping back from a search when it becomes overwhelming. Relax your mind and your body and then return to the process. Exercise in particular can help you “exorcise” painful emotions from your body—which tends to hold onto them longer than our minds.

2. Review your goals. Frequently, writing down your career goal, reminding yourself of why you chose your field, can be reinvigorating. It can remind you that external events (such as getting stuck in a less-than-ideal job situation) have nothing to do with your personal mission. You might also list ways that you have grown your skills as you have progressed in your career.

3. Reframe your focus to deemphasize upsetting aspects. If you had a bad relationship with your boss, shift your focus from those painful 1:1 meetings to the work itself. For instance, rather than recall how your boss stonewalled your efforts, picture yourself in those moments when you came up with great ideas. Picture how you and your teammates enjoyed working together on those ideas. Researchers have discovered that this shift of focus decreases the negative impact of a bad memory.

4. Get some perspective from a friend. Talk through the memories with someone you trust and ask for support reframing them. Often, our friends can help us by validating our feelings and our needs and affirming our value. Another avenue: therapy. A counselor can help you with additional strategies to transcend your anxiety.

5. Allow yourself to dream of what’s possible. Recall to yourself what you wanted to do with your life when you were younger. Was it a different type of job? A job in a different city? Make a list of the things that would make you happy in your career (the place? Type of boss? Type of work?), and then next to each, indicate how that could be possible. Because it is possible. There’s always a way. And your past doesn’t determine that.

And that’s the whole point. Things happen to us every day. Some of them feel great; others are completing debilitating. But you can get to a place where you view them as merely circumstances you become involved in, and then make a new plan.

Primary Sidebar

A Cure for Job-Search Paralysis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SiRsEnarfcw

Client Praise

Ruth is a gifted master of words. I hired Ruth because I needed someone who could clean up and reorganize my resume and LinkedIn profile. Ruth took in my career… Read more “Maria Blauvelt”

Maria Blauvelt

I was really struggling during COVID after getting laid off. I just could not seem to break through and get noticed.  I had used Ruth’s services before and gotten a… Read more “Sam Lewis”

Sam Lewis

I am truly honored to have the privilege of working with Ruth. She took the time to reach me on my level, and assist me in honing my interviewing skills… Read more “Randall Johnson”

Randall Johnson

Ruth is passionate about her clients. She truly cares and loves to see us find our next “Big Step” on our career journey. She is engaging in conversation and she listens. She… Read more “Karen Diehl”

Karen Diehl

Ruth worked to help me understand my strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes. She not only built a great resume and LinkedIn profile for me, but also coached me to believe… Read more “Matthew Knouff”

Matthew Knouff

Ruth is a tremendous resource for help in overhauling a resume and building a LinkedIn profile. She is very knowledgeable about what it takes to get noticed by recruiters. Ruth… Read more “Dan Carson”

Dan Carson

I highly recommend Ruth as a career coach. She provides clients with concrete tools and advice to create a plan of action. Ruth truly understands the job search process, from… Read more “Francesca Fuerman”

Francesca Fuerman

Ruth became passionate about my professional experience immediately. She knew I was struggling to effectively portray my depth of experience in writing for effective recruitment by employers. Once I had… Read more “Anthony Bahr”

Anthony Bahr

I felt so confident in myself after working with Ruth, after I was able to take a step back and look at my résumé and see just how accomplished a person I… Read more “Logan Weissler”

Logan Weissler

When you said to me, ‘Okay, we got this. We are going to figure this all out and get you into these companies,’ I felt my whole body relax and… Read more “Cathy C.”

Cathy C.

Ruth took the time to get to know me and understand my strengths and abilities. She overhauled my résumé, which was essentially a list of job tasks, and created an attractive, compelling… Read more “Jillian O.”

Jillian O.

Ruth is an amazing, thorough, and professional résumé writer with an eye for bringing out your hidden story and value. Over the course of a month we were able to transform my résumé from zero… Read more “Craig M. Chavis, Jr.”

Craig M. Chavis, Jr.

Ruth has a gift for listening to her client’s needs with real empathy, and for translating their background into words that accurately reflect relevant talents. Moreover, Ruth is the kind… Read more “Cory Joyrich”

Cory Joyrich

Working with Ruth was an excellent experience. Coming out of the military, I spent several years working with resumes that never seemed to achieve the goal of interviews. After realizing… Read more “Calvin Jones”

Calvin Jones

Ruth fit a wealth of resume advice and career guidance into a one-hour video-call! She led me through my resume and showed me exactly how to reformat its content for… Read more “Veronica Dye Johnson”

Veronica Dye Johnson

I worked with Ruth to gain a different perspective on my resume and LinkedIn profile. Her process is in-depth, starting with a questionnaire that pushes you to really consider the… Read more “Mike O’Brien”

Mike O'Brien

In preparing for my nursing career, Ruth was super effective in organizing the details of my education and work experience. So effective that she helped me secure a position in… Read more “Alexandra Reynolds”

Alexandra Reynolds

My experience with Ruth was amazing, I would highly recommend her to anyone for that personal and professional touch. Ruth is great at listening and helping you find out what… Read more “Marcia Johnson”

Marcia Johnson

Resources Library

  • Get an Interview
  • Job Search
  • How to Answer: “Tell Me About Yourself?”
  • Identifying Transferable Skills
  • Ghosted by Recruiters
Ruth Sternberg | Confident Career Search

CONTACT: 614-746-4587

SCHEDULE A CALL
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

© 2022 Ruth Sternberg, Confident Career Search. All Rights Reserved.

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Cookies Policy